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13 January 2009

This image is the symbol of my life at the moment.

Not because I think I am trashy, no, this is the object I carry with me all over the house all day and night. I take it with me to the store (if I can make it). I take it to church. Actually those are the only places I have been in about 2 months. I carry really big purses to try and hide it, somewhat. It is usually accompanied with the dreaded saltine crackers. YUCK! I can only take one food for SO long!

I just need a moment of reflection, since this is as much of a journal as a blog, so here is my past 2 months in a nutshell.

I called my new doctor yesterday, to see if there is anything new she could recommend. And after I explained what I tried the nurse was like, there really isn't anything else. I have tried everything...

1. Phenegran (It made me sleep 18 hours a day, I couldn't keep my eyes open)

2. Candied Ginger - getting this down after a while almost made me throw up just on its own. Later on I tried to eat this with ginger snaps, to see if that would help, but not for long.

3. Peppermint oil on my feet and belly - technically I am still doing this, I don't know if it is helping

4. B-6 Vitamins - I am still taking these but am not noticing any real help but I am afraid to stop because what if they are helping, and I guess they probably aren't hurting.

5. Unisom - This in conjunction with the B-6, I take only half a pill, right before bed. My sisters-in-law ans sister told me about this. I think it helped for a week, I am not sure it is doing anything, so last night I decided not to take it to see what happens, so I guess I'll know in a day or two if it really was helping. I just don't like the idea of fooling with my won ability to sleep, which turned out to be awful last night!

6. Zofran - This is said to cause headaches, but seriously- I had a migraine for an entire afternoon and night ( I could hardly sleep) and it continued well into the next day. I could hardly see, or move, I would rather throw up.

7. Emetrol - this is an over the counter nausea thing. Didn't do anything.

Right now I am brewing some Ginger Herbal tea, as it might help, we'll see.

But the frustrating part. I am developing a fear of food. I am afraid to eat. I can't eat much anyway, besides all the things that sound disgusting. If I wasn't pregnant and ate this little I would have already lost 15 pounds. That is just it, I throw up more than half of what I eat everyday, and I still haven't lost a pound. I haven't gained a pound either... Urgh! I just wish I could go into the doctor and make sure the baby is all okay. I set up my appointment like 2 months ago and I still don't get to go in til the 30th.

I am totally listless. I hate T.V. I have reached my limit with books, for the moment. I think I am feeling that way cuz the truth is I haven't done anything blog worthy since like November. All these semi-glamorous meals or events we've blogged about were preceded and followed up by my dear porcelain friend, and I am starting to go CRAZY! (or like I admitted to my friend Dest, they are randoms that I did a month or two ago and never got around to blogging) I have never been anorexic and I have never wanted to be bulimic, and here I am with a mix of both. I hate eating food, and once I've eaten it, I throw it up.

But the good news... (hopefully) is that I should be just starting my 13th week so, I am hoping it ends soon, very soon, Very, very soon.

p.s. I am STILL very excited about being pregnant. I just have nothing else to blog about, this is all I have done for two months.


Kate January 13, 2009 at 11:14 AM  

I am SOOOO sorry!!! I don't have any advice. The B-6 worked for me. Hopefully, it will be coming to an end soon. :)

Kneisly Family January 13, 2009 at 11:19 AM  

I remember those days. It was horrible! I think it is one of a couple of reasons why I'm willing to wait a little while for my next baby. I hope you feel better soon and reach the point where everything smells and tastes delicious.

Marsha January 13, 2009 at 11:39 AM  

I feel so awful for you. My illness with Ruby lasted over 4 very long months of hibernation. Turned out I had a thyroid issue.
Have you tried the sea bands? They are motion sickness bracelets. I used those with Xander and it helped a great deal.
I am sure you will start to feel better soon. After all, the second trimester is when you feel really good about everything because you feel so great.
Good luck with everything, and I do hope you start to feel better soon.

deidra January 13, 2009 at 11:46 AM  

One of my sisters gets just as sick during her pregnancies. I was going to recommend Sea Bands, too. She said they helped, though they weren't a cure-all.

Julie M. January 13, 2009 at 1:14 PM  

I'm so sorry! I used Phenergran, I just took half. I hope it gets better soon! :) My sister in law said she's going to publish a book on what is good going down, and up...she had it pretty bad too. Just think of that sweet little baby you'll be able to hold...soon!

andrea wardle January 13, 2009 at 1:29 PM  

Oh, sweatheart! I feel so much for you! Hang in there. As much as it feels like it will never end, in most cases it usually does. I still can't sit down and eat saltines for the fun of it anymore. I have to be REALLY hungry! Before you know it, you'll be in the 3rd trimester and saying, "okay, just one more piece... and then I'm done... well, maybe" And then you will be holding that precious baby in your arms and all the wonderful times make you forget how crummy you feel at the beginning! My mom always says to me, "The first 9 months are the worst"!

Carmen January 13, 2009 at 1:34 PM  

I too, I'm sorry you have been so sick! Bless your heart!
I don't have any suggestions but I hope you start feeling better soon. When I was pregnant, I finally started feeling better about 15-16 weeks. I'll pray you are closing the gap on this! :)

kmetzsch007 January 13, 2009 at 6:34 PM  

I too am sorry but also so excited for you. My aunt was as miserable as you were with her first but I think once you have at least one the morning sickness can no longer dominate because you're too busy with the one kid to dwell too much on how lousy you feel. I still remember my morning sickness with Kayli way more clearly then I do any of the rest. My only suggestion is if you can possibly manage it, try to eat a little handful of something before you even lift your head off your pillow in the morning. I'm sure you've tried this but it seemed to help me a ton. I'd just keep a small portion of pretzels or something like that and I'd just reach over and literally not move my head if I could help it and force myself to eat at least 4 or five. It may not work but I can tell you're trying anything and everything so good luck.

InkMom January 13, 2009 at 7:26 PM  

I know this is awful to say . . . but yay for being sick. There are tons of statistics out there linking health of the baby and healthy weight at birth to the degree of morning sickness experienced by the mother. So. I'm sorry because it really does suck . . . but maybe thinking that your body is doing what it's supposed to do might help you through the heaves. Oh, how I feel your pain! I remember being absolutely famished for popcorn, eating an entire bag, cleaning the bathroom, and puking up pretty much an intact . . . yep, bag of popcorn. I know, too much info, sorry . . . bless you if you don't hurl after this comment.

Love you, and hope you feel better soon!

Katie January 13, 2009 at 9:40 PM  

I'm pretty lucky that I don't get morning sickness too bad but the things I could handle eating if you haven't tried them yet were: toast (no butter, white starchy bread), baked potatoes, rice without any seasonings or anything, and anything else that is nice and starchy and bland. Hope the sickness dwindles sometime VERY soon!

Sharla January 13, 2009 at 9:43 PM  

Good luck, at this point you have to know that it can only get better right :)? I hope it ends soon too! I would advise something, but I'm not one to talk to about sickness (not much to report). It will seem like a blur when the little one gets here though!

Eliason Family January 13, 2009 at 11:13 PM  

All I can say is I have been there tried everything in the book, but it lasted the whole nine months for me... But with my last pregnancy after being hospitalized because I was so sick and couldn't keep anything down they played with my medicine a little and what I took seemed to take the edge off. I tried a half pill of the Phenegran I know it makes you so sleepy, try that with two other kids. But the other thing I took along with it was called Reglan it helps you digest your food really fast and doesn't give your stomach the time to really get sick. I took a combination of both for the first little while and it seemed to help. Also if you can find the Unisom and B-6 tablets together. They make them but hard to come by those help too. Something you have to talk to the pharmacist about. Anyway believe me after going through it 4 times I was ready to try anything to avoid being so sick. Just don't get dehydrated or you will be like me and in the hospital. Drink lots of water! Good luck I feel for you! But its so worth it in the end!

Drake, Rachel and Olivia January 13, 2009 at 11:20 PM  

So sorry you are so sick! I was sick my first trimester with Olivia but not as badly as you. A few suggestions, you may have tried already
1. First, don't worry about the baby, that little one is getting what he/she needs from your body and will be perfectly fine.
2. As hard as it is, you need to eat before you get up. I used to eat a little something around 4 or 5 in the morning and then go back to bed. although it is impossible to keep food in your tummy, if you can keep a constant stream of very small amounts of bland things it helps. Also if you try Zofran or phenergan try 1/2 or 1/4 of the dose and take it with some food. Especially early in the morning. If you can get strated out right it is easier to feel better the rest of the day.
3. Look into Dramamine. It is for motion sickness and they also make a non drowsy formula. Just try half at first and check to make sure your Dr. approves of course.
4. As far as foods the BRAT method (bananas, rice, applesauce,toast) helped me. Well, mostly the applesauce. that is all I ate for weeks. Also Ginger Ale was lovely. I also really liked Nutri grain bars. The best advice is what I would do is go to the grocery store (assuming you can make it there)and walk up and down the ailes and see if there is anything that seems appealing. sometimes just looking at foods something would jump out at me as appealing.
5. You could aslo look into a few sessions of acupuncture.
Well, that was long, but I know how wretched it is. Hang in there and just remember it won't last forever. I think the biggest key is trying something in the middle of the night if you wake up. I will be praying for you.

Mari January 14, 2009 at 11:05 AM  

One other comment- a friend of mine that is a nurse recommended ginger pills- that way you don't have to eat anything and you get the benefit of the ginger. She said you can get them at a health food store. Good luck, I hope you feel better soon!

Patricia H. Bradley January 14, 2009 at 9:18 PM  

Hi and yes it is unfortunate that you are sick so much. I remember the first son (Ronnie Joe, 34yrs ago) and I was sick the whole time I carried him and I did all the things you did. But after he was born, I was thrilled I had him in my arms. I was truly worth it. I doubt you will stay sick that long and most don't but it was really worth every minute of the time. I stayed sick every time I ate. Morning, noon, and night or in between. So that was my life while I carried Ronnie. Good luck with this and I will pray for you. I am sure you have done so, but have you put your name in the prayer roll? Just a reminder if you haven't in the last week or two. :) Take care. Love Pat Bradely

luvmykids January 16, 2009 at 5:58 PM  

Oh, I am so sorry about the constant barfing. I hardly had any sickness with either pregnancy. I know Amanda Hull was sick almost the whole time with her pregnancies. This part will hopefully be over soon! I am so happy for you too!

Lindsay January 18, 2009 at 12:49 PM  

Cassity, I couldn't be more thrilled for you! (Obviously over the pregnancy, not from the puking side effects!)

Mo January 20, 2009 at 12:41 PM  

Oh, how exciting! Not the vomiting but the baby. I'm currently crying and can't focus because I am so happy for you. (crying easily is a pregnancy side effect, so look out) You have been in my thoughts and prayers for years and I am just thrilled for you. You guys are going to be wonderful parents.

Scheewe January 20, 2009 at 10:44 PM  

Cass, i love you, i feel your pain!i'm sorry about the blah, yuckiness-but i can say "Welcome to the CLUB!" -not a fun one but hey, it all works out. I ate peanut butter crackers for the 1st 6 months with Grant.

1. Try not to think about food-everytime I thought about food it made me sicker but if i could just go get something to eat w/ as little mental involvement as possible it seemed to help.

2. Toast or bagel chips -sometimes i could handle the raisin cinnamon ones w/ a little cream cheese(there is a bread at Ingle's if you ever had it -Tuscany, just really plain & sometimes that how I ate it-other times w/ a little butter or black raspberry spread)

3. Cruchy Ginger Snaps -they are
little & dry -usu. on the top shelf in the drab little brown bag.

4. Whoever talked about steady stream of a little bit of food-hit it right on the head-even if it's just 5 raisins (again doNOT think about food :))

5.In some the studies ginger appears to be the best "nausea aid" whether you get it in a pill or soda-although, i'll have to say the soda didn't help me this time around-but sometimes just a glass of water would help-you my dear are going to need more than water, though from the sounds of things.

PS make sure you are keeping your head above the level of your stomach when you "attempt" to sleep at night-if it's bothering you then, too.

I know you are excited -I can't wait!!! WE ALL LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! PS you are doing a very worthwhile thing-giving up your body to bring a wonderful new spirit in the world-it's just different than the worthwhile you are used to, but don't worry you'll have plenty of time for that, too-LATER!
ALL MY LOVE, Dear Cass, mags

Joe and LeiAnn January 21, 2009 at 12:42 PM  

Take it from someone who has actually lost 20 pounds (and didn't really have it to lose) with each of her pregnancies, I UNDERSTAND!! One day at a time... As bad as it is, it's all worth it. Otherwise, I would have made sure I never got pregnant again. Call your doctor and ask to speak with the nurse. Tell her how sick you really are and see if she can get you an earlier appointment. If not, they may still be able to call in a prescription over the phone for you. I would try Reglan and see if it works for you. A combination of Reglan and Zofran might work too (Reglan is sometimes used to treat migraines). A scopolamine patch might work too.

Bourgeous January 21, 2009 at 4:46 PM  

Hey girl! This is Caroline from the good ol' Island ward. I saw you guys on Julie's blog and had to click over and check in on you guys. And want to add my CONGRATS to the bunch! You guys are going to be the BEST parents ever. I love looking through your photos - candle light pizza is such a good idea - I think that will make for a great Valentine Tradition. Good luck with the morning sickness - my advice don't go to any favorite eating spots. Send me your email so I can send you an invite to our blog. wbourgeous@gmail.com

Denise January 25, 2009 at 10:35 PM  

You POOR THING! Man, that's not fun being so sick. That just means your baby is extremely healthy...right?!? Good luck! We miss you guys.

Dalton Family January 27, 2009 at 1:22 PM  

I am so sorry and I hate to tell you this, but I was like that for 7 months. I only gained 10 lbs, but my babies were healthy. I hope you start feeling better soon. You do forget it once you see the little one. I lived on Unisom, I would still feel sick, but it was worse with out it. Good luck and I feel for you!

Trevor and Amy January 30, 2009 at 12:33 PM  

I'm sorry you're not feeling good! Hopefully it will get better! I am so excited for you guys! You will be awesome parents!

Jill February 2, 2009 at 11:21 AM  

thanks for saying hi cassity. congratulations on your upcoming addition to the family. i am so very happy for you.

all the best!

The Wright Fam February 3, 2009 at 9:13 PM  

I am sooo incredibly excited for you guys! I couldn't be happier! I am so sorry that you have been so sick. I can COMPLETELY empathize with you. I was in and out of the hospital with my first and unfortunately it has been the same with this one. AllI have to say is that it is worth it and your appetite will come back and your fear of food will slowly go away. One of the greatest blessings I think we have is Forgetfulness. When you get so miserably sick, it is a wonderful blessing to forget about the misery as time passes. Hang in there!! The only thing that helped me was IV therapy because I couldn;t keep anything down, it's aggressive and pretty intense, but it helped me get through!

The Redhead Bunch February 5, 2009 at 6:01 PM  

PS could you drop a comment to Leslie Judd so I can get an invite to their blog-when they went private I lost it! Have her email me at arerickson@gmail.com. Thanks!

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