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Kitty say what?

10 December 2008

I just got this awesome email from my dad. I think that I must share it. I am changing it ( and adding pictures of our pets) to reflect our family a little bit, but otherwise it is very fitting.

Excerpt's from Buddy's Journal
8:00 am -
Dry Cat food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am -
A drink from the bathroom faucet! My favorite thing!
9:40 am -
A nap on Mommy and Daddy's bed! My favorite thing!
10:30 am -
Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm -
Nap Again! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm -
Chased kitty! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm -
Chased my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm -
Nap Again fabulous! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm -
Dinner, dry cat food! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm -
Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm -
Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpt's from Kitty's Diary-
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Jerks.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
My so called brother Bu-D doesn't seem to get my drift. Even hissing and spitting right in his face doesn't dissuade him.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously not all there.

The Bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.........


The Tanner Times December 12, 2008 at 7:29 AM  

I called several of my cat loving friends to read this to them...very funny! It reminds me of our cats exactly.

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